StryfeR's Xanga

wow.

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 02:17:27 GMT

Oh my goodness. The last entry talked about how I've been awol for such a long period of time. Ok, maybe it didn't talk about it, but I do know I mentioned it. And now, in the blink of an eye, 6 months has gone by since that entry.

Dammit, this is scary.

So how has everyone out there in the cyberworld been? Good? Yes? No?

I've been... busy.

It's been a really interesting year. A new business, multiple romantic interests that eventually led to nowhere(Ok, maybe multiple is stretching it), a new outlook in life and my return to the dancing world.

This post is going to be kept short. Basically, I'm sitting in the clinic waiting for clients cos the early one cancelled at the last minute and I have over two hours to kill until the next one. And the damn shops are closed on Sunday so I can't even pop out to do some shopping. It's moments like this that I really appreciate Facebook and the internet.

Just in case anyone wants to know, I'm doing exceptionally well at CounterStrike in Facebook. Y'know, just in case you were curious as to the current status of my cyber demi-god status. Yes. So there.

Been doing a lot of thinking lately and examining my own issue with my low self esteem. Yes, I know its a common problem, but I will sit here and gripe if I so choose to, ok? Egad. My next issue to tackle might be my inane persistence to prattle on.

But anyhoo. Yes, to cut a long post short, I think I'll be returning to blogging soon. It's quite therapeutic in a way.

See you all soon!

How's it goin', Mate?

Wed, 23 May 2007 09:36:27 GMT

Wow. Talk about long periods of being AWOL.

So does absence really make the heart grow fonder?

How many of you, if there are any left, can truly say he/she has missed the wise ramblings of a stupid fool down under?

*ahem* Next.

I just quit the most secure job I've ever held. Well, I handed in my notice. I decided to do the right thing and stick it out for them till the end of the term. I think I'm crazy to quit a job that pays me AUD$30 per hour.

Oooh.

But I can't stand working for them. Ok. Let me be a little more politcally correct. Our ideals and objectives aren't congruent.

Theirs is to make the world a better place to live in.

Mine is to make money.

Have a read and see if you can help.

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 07:23:59 GMT

Before we begin...

www.westcoastsalsacongress.com.au

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear arts community friends,

I¹m sure you have received the appeals made to rally up support for The
Garden Re-lived! event happening tomorrow from 7.30 to 9.30pm.

It is really a tremendous effort of Richard and all the artists to reconnect
us to the spirit and purpose of The Garden. Why shouldn¹t we be part of this
experience? Why shouldn¹t we show our support and appreciation?

Buying a ticket is ONE concrete and easy way to do your part for The
Substation¹s cause. It is my appeal to you to please help by doing so.

Hoping to see more of you tomorrow,

Kristin

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
THE GARDEN RE-LIVED!
Readings for The Substation
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Singapore's most accomplished poets and musicians are getting together
in support of The Substation, at a venue that has long been dear to the
hearts of the Singapore arts community: The Substation Garden.

The Garden Re-lived promises to be a potent evening of poetry, music and
magic under the trees. It features Robert Yeo, Yong Shu Hoong, Cyril
Wong, Koh Tsin Yen, Leong Liew Geok, Christine Su-Chen Lim, Paul Tan,
Colin Cheong, Felix Cheong, Teng Qianxi and Ng Yi-sheng.

Now also known as the place where Timbre music bistro bar is located,
The Substation Garden is a magical haven in the centre of the city.
Since The Substation first opened its doors in September 1990, the
Garden has been the site of memorable -- even legendary to arts events,
many of them firsts’ in Singapore. There were the Round-the-Clock gigs
by local rock bands, storytelling under the bodhi tree, the Word of
Mouth poetry readings, flea markets, plays, and special events like Kuo
Pao Kun’s Tree Celebration of 1991, one of the earliest
multi-disciplinary arts events in Singapore which included installation
art, plays, and readings around the theme of nature.

The Garden Re-lived will recall these special moments in The
Substation¹s history, while looking forward to the future and
celebrating Singapore artists’ spirit of generosity. The poets and
musicians are giving their time and talent pro bono, in support of The
Substation. True to the spirit of the Garden, a place which has
weathered many changes yet carries a timeless quality, The Garden
Re-lived is a reminder that there are larger things than our individual
day-to-day concerns.

And that’s not all: The Garden Re-lived will kick off a new series of
performances and readings in The Substation Garden, running through
2007. The series will include a new reading/performance inspired by the
relay reading’ of the Jean Giono novella The Man Who Planted Trees,
read by Kuo Pao Kun and other performers/dramatists during the 1991 Tree
Celebration.

The series is presented by The Substation, produced by Richard Chua
(Little Red Shop) and directed by Jonathan Lim (of Chestnuts comedy fame
and Associate Artistic Director of Wild Rice).

With support from: Timbre, Gatecrash, zeropointfive, Little Red Shop and
Crashout.

Event Details:

Title: The Garden Re-lived! Readings for The Substation
Date: 8 November 2006
Time: 7.30 to 9.30pm
Tickets: $25 inclusive of one drink, from Gatecrash. Visit
www.gatecrash.com.sg or The Substation Box Office, 45 Armenian Street,
tel: 6337 7800 (opens 12 to 8.30pm, Mon-Fri).
Enquiries: 6337 7535 or 6337 7800
Website: www.substation.org

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 08:54:04 GMT

oi. what a crazy couple months its been.

I honestly can't think of any words that can describe what my last few months has been. To make it worse, nothing really fantastic has come up, mainly bad stuff. oh well.

Have to raise over $10, 000. And I have 2 weeks left. What the hell. Not going to succeed. My drive is spent.

On a side note, don't you hate it when people can't spell properly? Like "dat" instead of "that" when they try to type/act cute? Then they finish off with a " heehee" or even worse, "hur hur"....

Drives me up the wall.

Ok. Mini rant over.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 17:29:41 GMT

Ah hah.

I caught you.

You thought you could sneak up on me again, didn't you? ... well, ok, maybe you did..

You thought I haven't learnt my last lesson, didn't you??.. err.. fine.

WELL! I have something to tell you!!

Thanks to circumstance that were not in my control, your plans have been twarted! Shafts broken and extracted before they penetrated your target in full.

Sure, I'll bleed, but I'll heal. At least the damage is minimal this time.

If I get my hands on you, I'll stick them arrows up where the sun don't shine.

Fuck you. I spit in your general direction.

*PUI*

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 04:10:22 GMT

OKIE DOKIE!

Really quick 20 min update!

I'll be leaving for an Entrepreneur camp thingie and will be gone till Wednesday night! It's worth about $2000 ( so the organizers say) and I managed to win a scholarship to attend it! Woot! Food and lodging covered, of course.

Bankrupt

I have NO money! In fact, its worse than that! I owe the bloody bank $60. $30 of that sixty owes to the fact that I was just $30 in the red, and they're charging me another $30 for the convenience of letting me take more money than I have. Shit lah. If I have no money, I'd rather they just cut me off, man!! Charge me money to be poor some! Wah lau eh.

Also, here's the reason why I'm broke. I went groceries shopping again. Yup. More can food. Lol.

I realised the cans look like a city skyline. Here's the new look, after knocking some buildings and erecting new ones up.

*hyuk* *hyuk* I said erecting.

Ooh. I made a really good spaghetti that night, with minced pork. I thought the frozen meat in the bag was minced beef. Turned out to be pork. And it wasn't minced either. So I minced it by hand. Woot. Tasted really, really good in the end. I impress myself. Lol.

OH. I also made Chicken Corn Soup. It tasted damn good man. Photo makes it look really unappealing though.

Aussie Citizenship

I'll be eligible to apply for my citizenship in the middle of August! Woot! That means I can go back to Singapore after that! Not that I will, of course. It just means that I can. Its just nice to know that I have that option available to me.

BitTorrent

Torrents rawk!! I've downloaded so many movies and instructional videos recently! Even one audio book on American accents! Yay! Got quite a few recent releases as well.

Bye Bye

Ok. Gotta feed the dogs and then I'm off to the camp. Will tell you guys how it goes when I get back. Also will tell you the day I got hit on by this really ugly, old lady in the club.

*GAK*

Harlow! It's me again!!

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 17:10:34 GMT

Wah lau eh. Everytime I scroll down my own page and see those two giant pics of my face in the last entry, I always kenna shocked. Talk about damn ugly man.

Intro

Anyhoo. I guess what got me to actually sit my ass down here and update is the fact that Joe actually asked me to in my flooble!! HAHAHA!! Not that I usually do what people ask me to, of course. But Joe is my special friend. HAHAHA!!! seriously.

HAHAHAHA... anyway...Hope you guys are ready. I'm going to old school mode now. That is, I'm going to put a M-F-ing long entry. You've been warned =)

Dream?

I can't seem to get a good night's sleep/rest here in Perth. I think its the bed. Don't think its hard enough to support my body weight or something. I ALWAYS wake up feeling my back muscles in knots, and like I've not gotten any sleep at all. Yes, its really terrible. Even more so when I have to perform and wake up at 6 am, before the sun rises. Cos it feels even more like 3 bloody am. Kinda feels like I'm back in secondary school and I wake up at 4 am to start studying for the exam that will take place in 5 hours time.. hahaha...

Anyway. Where was I? Oh yes. The dream.

2 nights ago, very soon after I fell asleep, I found myself with my eyes wide open, starring at the open door to the left of my bed. Now. We all know what sleep-paralysis is.

Ok. For those that don't, its when you body goes to sleep but your brain is still fully awake. So in the middle of the night, your eyes are wide open but your muscles won't respond to the signals being sent from the brain, hence you feeling like you're paralysed.

Anyway. So I'm starring at the damn door, wondering if its sleep-paralysis or if I was being possessed. Then I start thinking, what if I start hearing voices? Then, I noticed 2 different voices, one belonged to an old man, the other to a lady. And then the woman started saying something like, "lets get him now before its too late..." or something. and her volume was just increasing, on both sides of my ear too.. LOL. Thought it was damn creepy. Anyhoo... I tried turning over to my right and saying " In Jesus' name, get lost" as I used to in the past.. Lo and behold, I couldn't bloody speak. I was stuttering badly and the words just wouldn't form! Trust me, I started to panic right about then. HAHAHA.. Then I thought to myself, " wait a moment... I don't really have anything to fear. Jesus IS watching over me, and I have nothing to be worried about." and just like that, I got all calm. I still couldn't move my muscles properly, every single inch of movement was hard fought, every word still a broken stutter, but I was calm as a baby sleeping in his daddy's arms. LOL. I never had so much faith before, man!!! HAHAHA...

I know I don't come across as very religious on my blog, or in real life and I have never mentioned my religion here before, but yes. I am a Christian. And I'm proud of it too. I'm not proud of my behaviour, but thats a different post for a different time.

Anyway, the dream ISN'T over yet, babeee!!! Yup. Just as I thought things cldn't get any worse, I then started dreaming that I was nothing but an ACTOR in my life. I don't mean as my occupation, as in, my life wasn't real at all, like the Truman Show with Jim Carrey. I heard this lady's voice go " And he turned over in bed, pulling the blanket over his shoulder.." AND I DID JUST THAT! Then I started doing everything the voice was narrating. Then I heard myself talk to someone, only thing is, the other person was using lines of conversation that I had already used in the day that passed. And it was all so familiar to me, until one of us went "hey, isn't that my line?" then the scripts got busted out and we were comparing lines.. dammit. That was one weird dream.

After that, I woke an hour before my alarm went off and kept tossing and turning, with my back muscles in bloody knots, until the alarm clock went off. Woke up, still bloody in dark outside, freezing cold, went outside to feed my two monkey dogs, and then I had to rush to get ready. Bloody hell, suffice to say, I wasn't in a very pleasant mood. Shitty day doesn't end there.

VO recording

Promised my friend Michelle that I'd help her with a VO recording for the wine documentary I mentioned in the past. She was getting desperate as time was running out and I had 3 frigging shows up north in Joondalup, a good 45 mins drive away from Perth. After the 2nd show, came straight down to get the recording done, only to realise that none of her group members were there. And they had all the neccesary equipment and keys. So I stayed for as long as I could, wrote a sharp letter where I told the girls what I thought of their lack of professionalism, and rushed back to Joondalup for the last performance. Rushed back down to Curtin after that to help do the VO recording, and then rushed down to my Accent class in the city. I got there 45 mins late for a 2 hour class.

Yup. I had a SHIIIIITTTTTYYYY day.

Icing on the cake? My VO can't be used, firstly, cos I spoke too fast ( why am I not surprised? Fark lah, Brian Liau. Wake your idea up and slow down, can!?!?), and secondly, my accent would appeal to only a very small market, according to Michelle's lecturer... FUCK LAH. once again, why am I not surprised? lol. In this bloody day and age, if you don't sound, or look, American or British, you're not going to make it in the media industry. Well, unless you work in China or Hong Kong. And even then.... *pfhh!*

Fark this industry lah. Who the hell am I kidding? I'll only be able to find work in a country that I don't want to find work in. Farking 'ell, mate.

TIE Show (* ahem* edited for professionalism. yeah, yeah. I know I'm bitching )

For those that have been reading my blog last year, I mentioned that I was doing a touring school show here that teaches kids about the dangers of racism and prejudice. Well, its the second season now but the actress has changed. Its really, really difficult for me working with this one, cos although she and the other girl are best friends, their working attitudes are SO different! This one can't bloody remember her lines and cos of that, I have to keep being on my toes and making it up as we go. Thats fine, but the problem is, cos she is thinking of the lines on the spot, its so obvious she doesn't know them, and I don't know what to do next cos I have to respond to the way she delivers her lines. Fark. Its not like a story-driven play where its obvious what happens next, but we play kids talking about facts and history!! ARGH!! Its so annoying!! And she just doesn't seem to understand the intention or meaning behind a particular scene, or even bloody jokes!! She keeps trying to edge in on my jokes and just ends up making the both of us looking like bloody tools!! or idiots, for those that are unfamiliar with aussie slang.. I DON'T GET IT!! how do you do this for a living and still not grasp the fundamentals of theatrics!?? ARGH!!!! yes. this issue is really bugging me. And as though thats not enough, she still want to give me attitude. FUCK YOU LAH. Don't tell me to not get pissed if you say something completely unappropriate at a joke and make me look like a dumb git! How about you actually go learn your fucking lines and try to understand what makes a joke a joke?? How about you stop thinking in your head that I'm making life hard for you and instead, get some sense of being a professional? I don't care if you have other shows to do and you work at VideoEZY. You chose to do this damn show, you farking go learn your farking lines lah!! AND she can't even splash me in the face with a cup of water! Its such a no-brainer of a visual gag! How the hell can you miss me 5 performances in a row, when I'M STANDING RIGHT IN FUCKING FRONT OF YOU?!?!?!

ARGH!!! This is bugging me so much! Last year, I looked forward to each performance with the other girl. Now, I REALLY, REALLY DREAD each and every performance. I am constantly worried about where she's gonnna mess up and its throwing my performance off!! fuck. Gonna have to tell the director to do something before I go mental and lose it with her. And I don't mean my virginity. Ha. Ha. See? I still have my sense of humour. No? FARK YOU too!!

Phew. Feels good letting all that out.

Grocery Shopping

Went shopping at Coles the other day, just so I could spend over $30 and get a fuel docket which would cut my bill down by 4 cents per litre. Was putting out all the stuff onto the cashier's counter when I started laughing. How do you know a bachelor living alone is shopping? Cos aside from 2 kgs of ready marinated chicken wings, all he gets is this....

Hahaha!! I thought it was friggin hilarious!! Oh well. I made a really weird chinese beef stir fry tonight. Pity I forgot to take pictures of everything. It turned out a lot better than I though. HAHAHA!! Even though I didn't have half the ingredients the recipe asked for.

The One That Got Away

Ok. More like the one that I should never have tried catching in the first place. I still think about the ballet dancer EVERY-FRIGGIN-DAY. Its silly, I know. Cos I KNOW I should get someone better for me, that I should not have to constantly worry about someone who isn't bothered about her own health and stuff. But I replay all the cute things she has said or done and it cuts me to the bone. Why does romance have to be this painful?

This is a pic of the two bookmarks I made her and gave her with my "goodbye" letter. lol. She loves the carebears. Wrote that awful poem I posted up here on the back of the card too. I hate the fact that I still miss her and think about her everyday. Fuck.

Her fav colour is green.

Life Choices

I have decided to give up performing for a bit. Or while I'm still in Perth anyway. Going to start a massage therapist course in July!! And I'm heaps excited about it! Don't know why! Its costing a bomb, but once I'm done, I become a nationally certified massage therapist, in other words, I get to know what I do freelance now, LEGALLY! hahaha.

I hope to get an 8 month contract on board a cruise ship! That would be so cool!!

Am tired of not having money to buy things at all. Got paid today for 3 and a half days of work at this casual office position. I basically help them design brochures and their website and stuff. Anyway, I got about as much as what I got paid working for 8 weeks for the play Tiger Pass Gate. Its like, what the fuck? Now I see the attraction of getting a normal office job where your life gets sucked away and you face office politics. You actually get paid decent money!! Heck. To hell with freedom and passion. Show me the money * head wiggle and shouts into phone*!!!!

Going to REALLY work on my stories for my various productions now. Am tired of giving my excuses. Guess one thing I look forward to doing the course is, I have an excuse to not be earning money again, and I can relax and write my shit after class. Although, having said that, I am looking for work, doing night shifts. lol. Think I'm so going to die in those 3 months.

Oh well. We shall see.

Turning 27 next year. Like, WHAT THE HELL!?? I still remember sitting for my O'levels and falling asleep at my Geography paper and not finishing it in time. And all of a sudden, I am friggin pushing 30?!?! Where did all the time go!? I haven't fucking accomplished anything with my life that is going NOWHERE!!!! My bro is getting married soon! My fucking hairline is receding!! Good golly! Not before I become famous!?!!!! *sob*

Business plans better bloody kick in soon, man. Sooner I become a millionaire, sooner I can move to L.A and persue my acting there. HAHAHA!! Its funny, cos its true...!! And it will happen. I shall be the smooth, middle aged chink with the receding hairline going, "Wang. James Wang... HAI-YAHH!!" * Kung Fu Pose*

Mention those two monkeys I have for dogs.. They always get over-excited cos they wanna play, what those two don't realise is how shard their claws are.

Don't worry. The dogs really did that. I'm not suicidal.

Yet.

SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE!!

Sat, 27 May 2006 16:19:11 GMT

Ok. Uber quick entry.

What has happened in the past 7 weeks?

Lets see. The play Tiger Pass Gate has come and gone. Might be my last play for a LONG, LONG time..

Giving up performing for a bit. Need to get a job that actually pays money, as well as some time to recharge my energy ( aka will to live..)

Fell in love really quickly and intensely with a professional ballet dancer from New Zealand. Find out later she is alcoholic and is addicted to drugs. Farking brilliant, eh? By then, I was already smitten and pulling out of relationship that moved too fast and intensely was pretty damn hard. Didn't eat for days on end. lol. Think I've lost some weight again. Depression of losing her felt similar to the time my "gf" cheated on me. Oh well.

Tonight was her farewell party ( she is leaving Oz to return to NZ) and I wasn't invited. Still unsure of what to feel regarding this news. Leaning towards "WHAT THE FUCK?!?"

Got my hair cut to release my pent up frustrations, as we emo, half-gay men usually do.

This is me last night. Do not let the smiling, semi-AaronKwok-in-the-80's look fool you. I am feeling pretty depressed....

This is me now.

With a mug like that, why the hell are women not dropping at my feet? Yeesh. Wait. Don't answer that...

Note the tired eyes look? Sigh.

Ok. Early golf game at Araluen tmw with some really nice folks. Going to bed.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Mon, 22 May 2006 14:53:33 GMT

YES!

I watched 2 of the 6 short films I was involved in and it confirms something I already suspected.

I CAN'T ACT FOR SHIT!!

Thank goodness I am heading for a career change...

Monday, May 15, 2006

Mon, 15 May 2006 01:13:43 GMT

You nerd.

It's been so long since I last felt pain like this. Completely different circumstances, and yet, once again, I am unable to eat. The knot in my stomach makes me feel like puking and even water is hard to keep down. Had one proper meal in the past 3 days and I still don't feel like eating.

I was a fool. Always have been and always will be, I guess.

You can't change the world. It's near to impossible to even change a person.

How ever do you find someone completely compatible?

Falling in love is dangerous, tiring and fucking painful.